Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
