i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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