I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Boobs are out for the taking
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
