what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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