I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
