No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
