I think scott just propositioned me for sex
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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