i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The maid of honor just puked.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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