A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
