a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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