We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
vagina is talking i cant
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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