wat bout pragnant strippers??
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
please don't ironically join a cult
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize