Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
