ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
