drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
