I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
