is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
