Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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