i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
