I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
