those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
