I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
