So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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