Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
