no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
