I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
