She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i will never coherently bang her
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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