JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
