i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
