Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
someone threw a dead crab at me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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