Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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