I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
