the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
