dude i'm inner monologue high
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
