how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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