I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
