I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
