Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I touched a dick in church today
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
