oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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