let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
