I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
