He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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