guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
