ugly people sure do ruin things
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
