Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
