you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
