Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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