I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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