plz talk dirty to me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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