Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
