Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
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If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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