I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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