There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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