In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
