The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
