i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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