I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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