I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
