I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
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So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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