doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
