Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
