it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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