i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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