Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
