She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
