oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i love accidental penises.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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