How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
