My Higher Power is John Stamos
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
